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From: DHowe@hawkswing (Dave Howe)
Subject: This was CRYING OUT for a repost.... :+)
Date: Wed, 30 Jun 1999 19:58:19 GMT

Subject: Clique Theory From: (Dr Drew)
Newsgroups: uk.local.yorkshire


Good morning, students. Today I am going to outline an exciting new aspect of theoretical physics. It concerns the behaviour of particles when interacting with Neusgroupinos: also called TANTRUM MECHANICS. This is CLIQUE theory.

The particle in question is officially called the T+ particle, but is known colloquially as the Troll. Trolls often come in bonded pairs, the troll and the antitroll. These pairs behave oddly: sometimes reinforcing one another, sometimes cancelling each other out. Occasionally a troll loses its antitroll partner and can then behave quite unpredictably, according to the rules of chaos: firing off random quarks (known as "posts") in an attempt to bond with a new antitroll. The existence of trolls was first proved by Hans Akrosstheocean in his famous "double-prat experiment", or the "experiment with two morons".

Trolls, whether bonded to antitrolls or not, also interact with neusgroupinos. Neusgroupinos are stable hadrons with a tendency to resist interaction with trolls. As far as the troll is concerned, this resistance comes about through the neusgroupino's outer shell, or CLIQUE (I will explain the etymology of this term later). CLIQUEs are generally impervious to trolls, unless the troll has a particular "spin" that conforms to the already-existing structure of the neusgroupino. Most trolls possess either "top" or "bottom" spin as well as other "strange" or "charmed" characteristics. For instance, a given neusgroupino may interact with "charmed, bottom" trolls, but not "strange, top" ones.

If a CLIQUE resists interaction with the troll, this can again cause unpredictable activity. The troll may fire off quark/posts in an attempt to break down the integrity of the neusgropino. These bursts of activity do not last long. Eventually, the troll decays, although many are more persistent than others.

However, I have not yet touched upon the most interesting part of this theory at all, the element that reveals the central mystery of Tantrum Mechanics. It is this: _the CLIQUE only exists from the "perspective" of the troll_. From within the neusgroupino, particles are free to come and go. Indeed, the "outer shell", the perceived CLIQUE, is not a unified, integral and impervious entity at all. Many particles are quite free to interact with the neusgroupino, regardless of spin, as long as they do not take on the specific characteristics of the troll. It is impossible to state with certainty whether or not a given particle internal to the neusgroupino is in this outer shell at any given time or not. This is known as _Wilkinson's Uncertainty Principle_.

Hence the derivation of the term CLIQUE: an acronym for CLearly Imaginary QUantum Entity.

Thank you. Any questions?

Yes, what's the capital of Chad?
Ndjamena. Next?

Couldn't you find a more intelligent group to which to post this?
No, this is the best one I know.

Don't you think this post displays a quite sickening mixture of immaturity and erudition, not to mention breathtaking self-indulgence?
Well, that's entirely subjective, isn't it? Make your own minds up, after all, it's a free country.