Crimewatch UK

In the early hours of yesterday evening a terrible crime was discovered. A poor shropshire farmer discovered his prize chickens to be in a state of profound shock after the alleged gang rape of the entire hen house.
"They ought to be shot" stated the local Police Chiefs press release this morning.
A nation wide hunt has been launched for the gruesome trilogy, who are belived to be in hiding somewhere south-east of London. Farmers in the area are being advised to be be afraid. Be very afraid. and to lock up their chickens. Should any of these "people" be sighted is advised to RUN. to the nearest weapon shop and purchase the largest, most powerful firearm available, point it at them and pull the trigger. The following artist's impression of the gang has been released to assist in this public extermination.

The Police will give

to the person who hands any of the pictured "people"'s head on a long pole.

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